Monday, 11 March 2013

Misadventures in Magic - part 4: Simon Goes Boom

It's not been that long since I hung up my wizard hat.

I thought that this break in magical growth, experimentation and learning might be in the order of years, but a few short weeks ago I got the bug again and started meditating.

The thing about my regular meditation is that:
  1. They are pretty basic letter meditations
  2. The aim is not to still the mind, that is just the starting point
  3. Beyond being totally absorbed in meditating on the letters, I'm still trying to learn what to do next
With regards to 3. not knowing what to do next - I had thought to build a mental star-gate and go exploring with my favourite mystic. So to make this a reality I picked up Sefer Yetzirah (Book of Formation) and started working through each of the verses in Chapter 1 meditating for longer and in more depth than before.

Perhaps the warning signs of feeling worn and stretched should have given me pause. But instead of the effects of over-doing it (i.e. going too fast & hard through SY) manifesting in a gradual manner - my body sort of shut down.

Within the space of a day I lost my appetite almost entirely, slept for 24 hours in a 48 hour period and when I went to get something off the floor - spent the next couple of hours gathering sufficient strength to get back in to bed. Now you might think that this is all a bit melodramatic and that is exactly what my wife said.

However, I caught a glimpse of my psychic fuse box to see which breakers had blown due to channeling more that I could handle. The brief vision I had was of a row of doors all standing wide open. At first I did not understand what that meant and then it dawned on me... I'd blown every fuse and was almost entirely drained of energy.

Rather than rush to recharge my energy levels as quickly as possible, I decided instead to let them recharge naturally. Slowly but surely my physical strength started to come back and by re-introducing regular meditation I started to feel more like normal within a few days. It was truly amazing to see how regenerative the body in terms of healing itself and recharging itself.

Anyway, lesson learned is: walk, run and then try to tear a hole between dimensions. On the plus side, I now understand the limits of how much I can handle / channel and that not remembering much from a meditation session is actually a good thing. It can be a sign that conscious mind has got the message and is letting the unconscious mind do what it needs to whilst the conscious mind is busy carving letters.